Trust me, I get it. If you have siblings, I totally understand why this is super difficult and seemingly impossible at times. They just are so annoying sometimes, and they get on your nerves and anger you so much you explode, and you are surprised you didn't spontaneously combust earlier (ok, slight exaggeration). But, after an argument, even if you got the last word in and seemingly 'won' (whatever that means), or just had a screaming match, you always feel horrible. Mad, angry, upset, frustrated, sad, insulted, etc. Why would you keep actively engaging in something that wastes your time and leaves you feeling like that?
I struggle with this too. I have an older brother, and we never really got along. I've said somethings I regret, he's said some horrible things too, and sometimes I wonder if we will ever truly get along and be friends. Or, as much friends as siblings with a bad past can be. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever really want to be his friend after some of the things he's said. I too am working on trying to argue with and yell at him less, but i'm not doing amazing. And don't even think about completely forgiving him yet, that won't be happening for quite some time. But, the fights are usually pointless and about something stupid. They waste both of our time and never actually accomplish anything besides wrecking our relationship even further. It's not currently as bad as it once was, its definitely been worse, but they still occasionally happen.
Trust me, if there is someone where you are constantly at each others throats, it does get better. But it only gets better if you put in the effort to make it better. Continuing down the current path and neither of you changing anything will never make it better. You can't make them change or change them, but you can start to change yourself for the better today. When an argument happens next, leave. You may be able to diffuse the situation. If so, do. If not, leave without another word. Go somewhere else away from the person and distract yourself. Do something you love to do. Do something to improve your mood (see my previous post on ways to improve your happiness).
If you are a Christian, follow my previous advice, but also pray. Vent your frustrations and anger to God, instead of to another person. He will listen to you and comfort you. Talk to Him about it. Talk to Him about why you are mad, what started the argument, and ask for peace of mind to calm you. Ask for forgiveness for what you said or did to that person, and ask for strength and courage and help to not have an argument or get mad next time. Then, if you can, forgive whoever you were arguing with and ask God to help you do this. Trust me, it is a process - not a one time decision. Then, try to forget about it, let it go, stop dwelling on it, and move on. Enjoy your life, your week, and your day. Don't let what happened negatively affect you or your day. Bye! :)
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